My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
