i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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