You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
