He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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