is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
