Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
