I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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