Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
