Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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