Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
