similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
