I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
