Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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