You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
