Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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