I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
