I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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