All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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