you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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