things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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