your thong is hanging out like whoa
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
