it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
