i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
