I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
