Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
