i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
