Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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