Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
