Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
