In America we eat man semen.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
