Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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