She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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