he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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