a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
