please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's rum buckets o'clock
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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