the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
