Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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