They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
