If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
