his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
where are you?
Hypothermia
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
