Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
