Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
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