ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
