I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
