thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
