I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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