I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
