physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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