we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
