i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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