just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
