Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
