It's just like the Real World with babies
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
